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Post by Katherine Edwards on Apr 20, 2008 12:14:23 GMT 8
Full Name: Katherine Cayenne Edwards
Nickname/s: Kat or (only by people her enemies) Edwards
Age: 15
Blood: half
Gender: female
Loyalty: good
Favorite Subject/s: Charms, Transfiguration, and Herbology
Wand: cherry, 5 inches, fairy wing
Personality: Katherine Edwards’s personality let’s start off with that she is really shy at first only because her family moves all the time. So when you first see her she is really shy and she never really talks all that much. She will start talking with you once she gets to know you some more. Once she gets to know you she is really nice to you.
She is also very nice as well. Once she gets to know you she really starts to get talking a lot but not too much. When you walk up to her she will say things like Hello and how is your day going. That type of stuff but she doesn't really get into too much detail only because she knows you a little bit. Once she really gets to know you she becomes even nicer to you but not too nice just a little more nice.
She is not a type of girl you will see as a sports type of girl but she is really good at some sports. She is happy about it as well but not all the time especially since she doesn't really care for any types of Slytherins at all especially Snape she doesn't like him at all maybe it has to be of her friends and maybe it has to do with her mom and dad since her mom is a witch and her dad was a muggle until he died. She is still mourning though over his death but she never really shows it when she is at school and about to play a game.
She is though the artistic/homework type. The only reason why I say that is because she is the type of girl who could hum a song that is stuck in her head while doing her homework. After her homework is done if she still has that same song stuck in her head she will of course start to dance which is what she does most of the time. She is usually the type of girl you will see with a book stuck in front of her face during school hours or in her house's common room or around the school in some place.
Strengths are reading about a ton of stuff, knowing spells that are defensive, knowing spells that aren't defensive, Katherine also is good at making potions but never do good at doing the homework for Potions class. And here is her weaknesses being made fun of because of how she is with having a book in her face or always humming something in her head. Also she hates people especially the Slytherins calling her a muggle-born only because they don't believe her that her mom is a witch and that her dad was a muggle. Katherine also hates people being mean to her and people being mean to her friends and a lot of other mean things like being called a bookworm or a-know-it-all sort of person. She also doesn't like anyone that hates any sort of person that is not pure or not good enough for them at all she just really plain hates it and she also feels weak about too because then she well start thinking about her dad again and she doesn't want that because then she will be all teary and she just feels weak whenever someone mentions her father.
History two paragraphs min) Katherine Cayenne Edwards was born on September 22nd, 1983. Katherine was born on a warm sunny day in the afternoon of September. Katherine also is the only daughter and the only kid who was born to the Edwards. Katherine is a good girl and she likes reading books and she also likes to be in her room while she is listening to music and other stuff as well.
Katherine is a good at doing her homework but one day when she was waiting for her dad to pick her up at school. Katherine continued on waiting until she heard a siren going off. Katherine looked up and saw a cop car and a fire truck and an ambulance. Katherine got up and grabbed her bag as she started taking off. Katherine was eight years old when she saw her dad's car tipped over.
Katherine started to cry some as she got under the rope and she went over to the car saying "Daddy! Daddy!" Katherine then was pulled away from the scene still crying. When she was on the other side of the rope she started to run home. Once she got there she went to her room and never wanted to come out since on that day she lost her best friend. Now Katherine has gotten over her dad some but not so much.
Katherine is now ten years old has she is a little bit better but she still misses her dad but her mother doesn't mind since she still hasn't told her daughter about who she really is yet. One day when Katherine got home from school of a long walk she saw her mom in the living room holding a strange envelope in her lap. She went over to her mom as she saw the envelope having her name on it. Her mom then told her daughter about who she really is.
Katherine was a little scared/ excited as she sort of knew it but she also didn't know if it was true. Katherine then looked at the envelope in her hands as she looked at it wondering what it is. She then opened it as her hands were trembling. Katherine finally got it open as she started to read she was so happy. Katherine smiled at her mom as she loved her so much and is very happy.
Katherine and her mom went to Diagon Alley that very weekend. Katherine was very happy as she looked around Diagon Alley. She was so excited that she couldn't believe that the books she read at home where actually true well about young wizard/witches. Katherine got her wand, a robe and all the books she needed and some other stuff as well that she needed at Hogwarts.
After her first year at Hogwarts she sort of missed her mother but she got over since she sent letters to her mom. Katherine also didn't make any friends at all during her first school year but she hopes that her second year will help her making some friends. But second year passed and she never really made any that year at all.
Now this is Katherine's fifth year at Hogwarts and she hopes that this year well be a good one since she doesn't like the Death Eaters at all or anybody else that has to do with the dark arts. She also just hopes that this year will be a good one since she really hopes that she could just do something that she well be loved. Katherine also hopes that she could find some good friends and she just hopes that this year that well happen. Katherine and her mom where secretly rich since her dad was a rich man but never told his family about it Katherine didn't even know about it until she got the letter from her father. She went over to her mom and showed the letter and she couldn't believe her dad was a rich person.
What can you say about your friends? Well, actually Katherine hopes that if she did have some friends they well be kind and well believe in the stuff that she does and maybe make her laugh. She also prays that they well be very kind and that they well be very kind and help her fight off the vicious enemies that are called Death Eaters since she really wants to help with trying to stop them.
RP Sample (min of 3 paragraphs): Katherine Edwards woke up to her alarm clock going off. Katherine looked at it as she turned it off. Katherine sat up in her queen sized bed. Katherine looked around her room and she got up after a couple of minutes as she got dressed. She looked around as she stretched some. Katherine then looked around some as she went over to her vanity as she brushed her hair. She pulled her hair back into a pony-tail as she got dressed in a stretch pants and a tank top.
Katherine then went down the stairs from her room toward the kitchen. Once Katherine got there she looked around for her mom. She found her at the table with a plate in front of her and one across the table from her. She then walked over toward her plate as she smiled at her mom. Her mom (Cassie) was reading the newspaper that she usually got in the morning. Cassie her mom works for the Minstery of Magic. Katherine didn't know what to do when she got out of school.
Katherine sighed some as she started to eat her breakfast like she does every day when she is not at school. Katherine then looked around some as she knows where she was going to go right after breakfast in her room to work on her homework for her school. Katherine also hopes that she could make friends this year at school when it comes to that day when they have to go. Katherine finished her breakfast as she put it into the sink. Katherine then went over to her room and started to walk over to her dresser as she started to do her homework again.
Katherine sighed some as she got her easy homework down but she hates the other subjects that she doesn't know of. Katherine then tried to do the homework that she doesn't know. After Katherine finished her homework that she could remember some. She then got up and left her stuff on her desk. Katherine then walked over toward her bookshelf as she got down a book. Katherine then held the book toward her as she walked over to her reading corner in her room.
Once she got there she sighed some as she put her feet up in the chair as she turned on her stereo as she breathed some. She then opened her book and started to read it as she loved reading her books. Katherine continued on reading until she heard a knock on her door so she turned down her stereo and said come in. As she knew that it was the maid so she then turned her stereo up again as she started to read again. [/blockqoute]
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Post by Draco Malfoy on Apr 20, 2008 12:24:01 GMT 8
Overall, it is pretty okay, but, I cannot sort you yet. First, please remove the fact that she is a Seeker on the Quidditch team, as that is yet to be seen. Also, please change your name to that of your character's. Another thing I have noticed is that several times, the tense changes. Sometimes it IS okay, but it is not in cases I've seen it. Please keep it to the same tense. There are some other grammatical errors, so please try to find those.
Once you think you have everything, reply to this post. Thank you.
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Post by Katherine Edwards on Apr 21, 2008 11:20:51 GMT 8
I fixed what I think that was wrong but I couldn't find any grammatical errors though and sorry about the tense since I was working on this last night very late and I wanted to get it up and I couldn't really tell that I was being tense about it. So I am sorry about that.
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Post by Draco Malfoy on Apr 21, 2008 11:43:47 GMT 8
You still need to fix some things. For one, keep the whole thing in third person, even if you are referring to yourself, there is an I in there. Also, there are still grammatical errors. Also, there is a part about her fear that is her weakness, it just doesn't fit. Another thing, you say she is second best to Hermione Granger, that also should be removed. We don't want people claiming they are best, second best, etc. Except for Mione, cuz we all know that's true.
There is the part that says: "Ok, here it is her strengths..." that, like the part where you have the first person, should be corrected. There is a grammatical error there as well. If you need help, perhaps post it in a word document for help.
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Post by Katherine Edwards on Apr 21, 2008 11:53:47 GMT 8
Ok I fixed again I hope that is OK now!!
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Post by Draco Malfoy on Apr 22, 2008 1:42:29 GMT 8
There are STILL some mistakes. The length is pretty good, but they are still filled with errors. Unless Hallie or another admin thinks this is fine, I will give you ONE MORE chance to change it. I see many mistakes in simply the personality point. I haven't even gone to recheck the other parts.
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Post by Hermione Granger on Apr 22, 2008 18:30:26 GMT 8
I draco, sadly can't see anything wrong now, so ACCEPTED!
WELCOME TO HUFFLEPUFF
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Post by Draco Malfoy on Apr 23, 2008 4:45:34 GMT 8
Nope, lots of stuff wrong. You are going to be PMed about it. In the meanwhile, moved back to pending until the end of today.
EDIT:: Well, it's been two days since I posted that, so, although we would like you to be here, your grammar and usage of it isn't up to par.
DENIED
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